Move Over Black Friday! “Green Monday” and “Super Saturday” are Coming!

Green Monday

Source: Ingenious Press

The steady erosion of family life in favor of the almighty dollar set a new low standard this year with “Black Friday” now starting on Thanksgiving night, or “Grey Thursday” as it has been dubbed.  On that night, people who worked in minimum wage retail chains like Wal-Mart or Target were stripped of the privilege to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with their families. Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, consumers were keen on avoiding their next-of-kin in order to have a punters chance of snagging a cheap television or tablet.

It paradoxically all occurred on the day where people are supposed to enjoy the simple pleasures of life (family, friends, good food, etc.) and set aside business matters and conspicuous consumption for another day, and there are PLENTY of other days for that. Furthermore, it did not make much sense under the guise that shopping on Black Friday/Grey Thursday was somehow being “thrifty” or that less fortunate people would have the chance to pick up a life-changing new piece of electronic hardware. Money is money, and people were literally struggling with each other for televisions which were maybe several inches larger than their current set, or a slightly more modern tablet computer (you know, with an 8-megapixel camera instead of 6).

Despite the growing moral panic which seems to be accompanying this unsettling consumer “holiday”, there are actually an increasing number of “must shop” days on the United States consumer calendar, particularly during the final stretch of the year. Whether or not people want to act like civilized human beings, or an irritable and raging Hippopotamus, is entirely up to them on these shopping dates.

Working seamlessly in support of corporate interests, this segment from a Pittsburgh area news station aims to prepare it’s viewers for the upcoming December shopping phenomena which are “Green Monday” and “Super Saturday”. Apparently, they are going to help you “save money” by encouraging you to spend more money on stuff you neither need or want. I don’t know about you, but that logic kind of baffles me, especially when so many people in the United States are struggling financially and have very little disposable income for frivolous spending. Anyways, the segment would not be complete without trademark faux-enthusiasm from their anchors and reporters!

They remind you if you missed Black Friday or “Brown Thursday” (purposefully replacing the word “Grey”, which is also synonymous with bleakness or sadness, emotions likely felt by employees who were forced to work on Thanksgiving night) then you have all the opportunity in the world to shop-until-you-drop on December 9th or December 21st. These dates will be known as “Green Monday” and “Super Saturday” this year. Green Monday appears to be a more under-the-radar (and non-violent) version of Black Friday, while apparently Super Saturday is supposed to be Black Friday’s main rival for biggest shopping day of the year.

Maybe I have been living under a rock, because I have never heard of either of those days up to this point. So what other days of the week have not yet been color-coded and will be utilized as a new seasonal shopping bonanza for the future? Could we reasonably expect “Turquoise Tuesday” or “Strawberry Blonde Sunday” in the coming years? Sadly, it does not seem entirely far-fetched as the entire months of November and December appear to be transforming into a long and arduous Christmas shopping season that lasts for 1/6th of a revolution around the Sun.

This article first appeared on Ingenious Press. Follow us on our Facebook and Twitter Pages for weekly updates on independent news and other alternative media.

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